♡ Amanda ♡
♡ aka Yumyumsesame ♡

Christmas Blues

Warning: Depressingness.

I haven’t gotten into the Christmas spirit yet. I hope I do. I like Christmas and we won’t get another one for a whole year. But there’s less than a week left and if I’m not in the spirit yet I’m not sure it’s going to happen.

I guess I’ve come to the realisation that Christmas isn’t as fun when you don’t have money in the bank. Or when you have negative money in the bank. :/

I’m sure Christmas day is going to be great. Lots of good food and company. But I wish the week leading up to Christmas could be better.

I haven’t put up the tree because I can’t justify spending money on decorations this year. I have some old stuff in the cupboard but I was really looking forward to doing something special and different. 

I haven’t bought a single present. Russell and I are going to bake some cookies to give as presents this year so as to save money. It’s a good idea and I’m sure people will like it but I love shopping for presents. :( :( We’ve also decided not to get gifts for each other because even though it would be nice, we both know the money is better spent on paying the bills.

Plus I’m just so BLAH about everything lately. 

It’s a vicious cycle, really. Feeling BLAH means I’m not motivated to do things, so I don’t do the things that may be able to fix feeling BLAH and so I stay BLAH and unmotivated and so on.

It’s not just money (though that’s a big part of it), I’ve been feeling lonely lately. I have no social life or work life and uni has finished for the year. I’ve applied for a couple of jobs and handed out resumes here and there but would prefer to do my own thing. And I’m working on it but this recent bout of depression has done nothing for my productivity. I know what I want to do but actually doing it is a struggle.

Sorry for all this negativity but I needed to rant. Not that I haven’t ranted. Poor Russell has been putting up with me moping around for the last month.

But yeh, she’ll be right mate. 

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